I do not own any part of the 50 shades trilogy. My musings are for fun and not profit.
Chapter 5CG pov.
When I told Elena I had had enough of subbing she was more than a little upset. It wasn't just that she had crossed the line by allowing another Dom to touch me, Christ she knew about my aversion, but she actively encouraged the other Dom to carry on after I safe worded.
I think that was the only second time I had safe worded in the whole of the six years we had been together, and we had done some extreme shit in that time. I could tolerate pain on the outside because it covered the pain on the inside. The pain of near starvation,being beaten, the cigarette burns, the fact that, SHE did nothing to protect me. At four, so Ana tells me kids love there moms they know nothing else, and that is another reason I felt so hurt the fact that she didn't defend me, then, she left me, checked out took an over dose of whatever shit she had been using.
But Elena had overstepped her role as Dominatrix and I had, had enough.
I had just dropped out of Harvard, I wanted to make my mark in the world to take control of my life my own way and being a submissive wouldn't cut it for my image of being completely in control of my destiny, No one else was going to control my life. I'd be master of my universe.
To achieve that I needed complete control and I was starting here and now with putting Elena in her place.
To Elliot's credit, although he was appalled at my revelation he didn't turn his back on me and tell me to fuck the hell out of his life. But, in retrospect, he probably didn,t realise the meanings behind what I was telling him.
I think by this time we were both well on the way to being well and truly;y drunk. We had finished a bottle of wine and well down the bourbon.
I continued to ramble on; Elena offered to sub for me said she would be my first experiance, and do you know Elliot, I really looked forward to punishing her for not heeding my safe word for ignoring, my limits, for allowing someone to touch me.
"And did you?" asked Elliot. He was wide eyed with facination.
"You bet I did and having her under my control was such a buzz."
" So she stayed your submissive after that?"
I continued my tale. No, She realised that there would be no turning back for me now that I had found my dominant self, my alter-ego.
She knew that I had found a company to take over. A small electronics company that was going on the cusp through poor management and I knew I could fix it. I needed seed money. Dad had refused to give me any help so I was looking for bank loans.Very difficult when you're under twentyone with no portfolio and no obvious experience. She lent me 100 grand to get started.
" She had that sort of money!?" Elliot was amazed
"No it was Linc's money"
"Linc, Lincoln Timber?
" The very same" I smirked at the memory
And I was able to take over the company. I fired the board, and re shuffled the work force, taking Ros Bailey as my second. Then we found Barney Sullivan a computer geek with a very impressive CV. What Barney doesn't know about computer technology ain't worth knowing.
We began to make a profit with careful marketing. Slow at first then it just took off and before too long I was able to pay Elena back with interest.
"Did she sub for you again?"
"No, I was too busy working nineteen, twenty hours a day to get thing moving, You know what I was like. I was still sharing your apartment at that time"
" Yea, miserable bastard no fun at all. So did you give up the life style?"
" Not really just too busy."
But once things were settling down, I needed some relief. Normal girlfriends not an option, I had needs that could only be satisfied by the extreme BDSM way of life. Elena offered and after a got a place of my own, we agreed to meet there. She never turned up. The next think I knew was when Mom phoned to tell me Elena was in hospital, She had been attacked and beaten up. Her husband had found out about us. He threatened to tell the police that she was a paedophile and had seduced me at 15 if she brought any charges against him. That would have meant jail for her and for me to have to testify in court. She didn't want me to have to do that so she just agreed to quietly divorce him.
"So what did you do then, how did you manage?"
I could see that Elliot was more than a little interested. So through my drunken state I decided to go the whole hog and tell all. I'm not usually so verbose even when drunk. But in my cloudy mind I felt that it was the right time.
"Well, once Elena was fit and well again, we remained friends. I could always talk to her. She was the only person who knew about my perversions, knew me for what I was.
She introduced me to an exclusive "dating" service. And through them I was able to get a submissive of my own."
Elliot gave me a drunken leer,"Whats it called submissives R US"
It was important that no one should know of my life style; it wouldn't help me much in the business world. I couldn't risk using the clubs.
"There are clubs in Seattle that cater for BDSM?" Elliot's face was incredulous
"You'd be amazed at the number of sick fuckers like me there are Elliot. But I couldn't be seen in them, I'd be risking the reputation I was building. And it was importent that none of you lot found out about my life style. mom especially. I couldn't bear for them to know about me. It was easier to let you all think I was a celebate gay, than for you to know the truth" I took a deep breath and another swig of bourbon.
"So, for the next seven years I had my submissives at the weekends. When I moved to Escala, I had a "playroom" installed. The girls stayed over the weekend and thats how I lived my life.
"How many?" Elliot's eyes where wide in amazement.
"How many what? playrooms? just the one"
Elliot rolled his eyes at me, " Girls"
"Oh, sixteen"
"All at once?"
"Of course not all at once. Over a period of time. three month contracts. Or there abouts"
"You had contacts?"
"Yes"
"What for?"
"Laying down the ground rules. You know, hard and soft limits. The rules I expected them to obey. All consensual, A safe, sane agreement between two individuals."
There was silence between us for a while and I think we dozed of to sleep. When I come to there was a large mugs of coffee, bottles of water and Advil tablets on the tables in front of us. I suspect Taylor has been busy watching my back again. I do tend to forget he is there at times. He knows all my shit anyway so I'm not bothered that he may have over heard my confession.
After we had sobered up a bit Elliot asked me, "You don't still have that life style do you?"
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